A Letter to My Daughter on Her 4th Birthday!

Carlisle Grace-

Tomorrow is Christmas Day, 2010 and we will celebrate your 4th birthday.  I cannot believe how beautifully you've grown over these short years.  I look at you and already I admire your natural grace.  You move about easily in a rhythmic dance with long legs and delicate features.  Soft, golden curls frame your face and spill beautifully over your shoulders and down your back.  Your big, blue eyes light up when you smile.  Your gaze is serious and intense. You do love excitement, yet there is a quiet calm about your soul. 

Carlisle, your sister sure does love you!  I often catch her just staring at you with an awed expression.  She doesn't just admire you when you dance.  "ReeseyRoo" (Weesy-Woo as you call her) loves to make you giggle.  I love your laugh, too.  It is honest and pure and quite contagious.

I can already tell you will be an accomplished dancer.  Miss Jackie thinks so, too.  I do believe you will one day be famous!  It is my prayer that you will bring glory to your Father in Heaven who endowed you with so great a talent!  Always give Him praise for what He has done for you and what He is doing inside of you.  He will take you places far beyond what you could ever dream or imagine!

I can already see that you were created for worship!  Sometimes you begin to dance freely with impromptu steps as you lightly sing an ad-libbed tune that is simply angelic.  On the way to the nursery the other day, you spontaneously began to sing, "The Lord is my strength and my song.  The Lord is my strength and my song."  You didn't even know it, but you were ministering to me with the song of the Lord! 

You are my lovely, princess ballerina.  For you, my daughter, are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and I am so blessed to be your Mommy! I do love you so.

Psalm 149:3 "Let them praise His name with the dance..."

Off to the Races

The wee hours of the morning are so quiet and still.  The soft purr of kids sleeping.  The comforting ever so slight whirr of the central heat dispursing its warmth through our apartment.  Hot coffee in hand, I go to my favorite spot on the sofa, swing my feet up into a comfy position on the other cushions while letting my head rest against the wall behind me.  Everything is still.

Everything except my mind.  It may as well be NASCAR in my brain.  Here comes car #1, driven by StessingOverThingsICannotChange followed by RegrettingPoorChoicesMade.  Don't look now, but HowInTheWorldAmIGoingToGetEverythingPaidOnTime is squeezing in trying to take the lead.  Each driver takes his turn in the lead, but it is that continuous, monotonous, round and round the circle we go.

Herein lies the battle...the mind games.  Author, John Eldredge, describes this volatile takeover as the "thief of joy."  Nehemiah 8:10 tells us, "Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”  If the thief steals your joy, your strength has been stolen, too.  As a mother, single or not, strength is as vital to you as the air you breathe or the blood pumping through your veins.  You must keep going whether you feel it or you don't.  There is no sick time, no vacation time. 

I have found that I can rest in His perfect peace, peace "that passes all understanding." When sheer panic tries to take its fierce grip, turning my stomach inside out, I stop.  I take a deep breath allowing no words to come from my mouth except, "God, I trust you."  Period.  Then, I keep walking.

Now, back to the race...

From outta nowhere, here comes Driver #7 who appears to be just sailing by the other drivers.  In a massive explosion, all the other drivers are taken out of the competition.  There is only one driver left and He is taking me over the finish line.

"Jesus, take the wheel."  --Carrie Underwood