A Letter to My Daughters

My Sweet Girls:

Tonight, we were having pizza at your favorite pizza place--Pizza Hut.  I watched as the two of you were doing silly little dances.  Then, again, at bedtime, we were being so silly in your bedroom flailing our arms about carelessly and giggling.  Oh what joy you bring to your Mother!

See, times have been a little hard for us these past few weeks.  Mama hasn't felt her best lately, but you can always bring a smile to my face!  When I pray for you, I always ask that you never walk the road I have nor take the paths I've taken mostly out of rebellion, and some just by mere lack of wisdom.  You will face many temptations in life.  Run from them!  Flee, even!  It is my desire that you walk as Jesus did with such love and compassion for people and never taking your eyes off of the Father.  Then, my daughters, you will not stumble.  If you do fall, be sure you always fall forward and never look back.  God has many wonderful things in store for you!

Later, after you were sound asleep in your room, I began to think about how blessed I am to have you.  God gave you both to me at my lowest point.  He gave you to me when there were so many other more deserving women who have longed to have babies and couldn't.  I am blessed that God saw fit to give you to me, who at the time was so unfit to be anything, most especially a mother.  YOU have been like little life preservers.  You were the emergency life paddles who brought me back from certain death.

I pray that you always see the good in everything as you do now.  I pray that you don't ever lose your contagious smiles and your intoxicating laughter.  Most importantly, I pray that I will always be a Godly mother, an example after which you will forever feel proud to pattern your life. 

More importantly, I pray you always know how beautiful, how precious you are, and much joy you bring not only to me, but also to those you have met and will meet along the way.  The Bible tells us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made."  May you always have the life you are so deserving of and that life is one of a princess, of royalty.  For you see, you are the daughters of a king--The King of Kings!  The Creator of Heaven and earth!  God's very best for you both and nothing less be unto you!

I love you with all of my heart :)

To My Baby Girl on Her 3rd Birthday

My Darling Reese:

When I think about you, I smile.  You have brought joy and laughter to my heart.  Today, your aunts, Mimi and I were reminiscing about the day you were born.  As I sit quietly now and reflect on those memories, I see how much that day was a prophetic telling of you and your personality.

Your arrival was quite the surprise as I wasn't expecting you quite so early.  Even now, you are full of surprises.  The contractions were hard, but you didn't waste any time once you decided to join us in the real world.  As you have grown, I see that same head-strong determination and gusto as you are figuring out your likes and dislikes. I know that you are going to approach life with that same zeal.  Upon checking in at the hospital, the nurses quickly determined you were well on your way albeit the wrong way.  You were breach so you needed a little extra help, but that didn't hold you back.  It just expedited the process and Mommy thanks you for that!  You were perfectly formed and you continue to develop so beautifully. 

At this point, you love, love, love gymnastics!  Already an accomplished gymnast for your age group, you are fearless which truthfully makes me a little nervous!  You have expressed an interest in ballet like your older sister, so  I cannot wait to see the gifts and talents God has placed inside of you! You have already learned several scriptures and your bedtime prayers are always full of the names of everyone you love and sometimes you even mention people you don't really know that well.  What a fair-skinned blonde beauty you are with the most beautiful blue eyes that seem to dance when you smile that gorgeous smile of yours.    Your laughter and your smile are infectious and I know that you, my daughter, will bring much joy to those you meet along your journey.

You have several nicknames:  Reesey, Reesey Bug, Reesey Roo (that's mine), Buttercup (that's Daddy's), Reesey Cup (almost everyone calls you that at some point), Baby Sister (Carlisle's, of course), and no matter how many more names are added to this list, you will forever be my Baby Girl.

I am so proud of you and I love you so very much.  I am honored to be your Mommy!

Honesty IS the Best Policy Even When It Comes to Facebook

Today, a very interesting topic was broached by my older sister via Facebook.  She has two children, ages 9 and 11.  Both mature for their ages, both reared in the ways of the Lord, both wanting their own Facebook accounts.  The age limit set by Facebook is 13.  So, the topic was basically, "Do you lie in order to create an account for your child or is there another way 'around' the age limit?"  The reason for her post was not to be "controversial," but there are other Christian parents who have created accounts for their kids who are well under the age limit.  So, as you might imagine, this has become yet another "but why can't we, Mom" topic in their household.  People responded to my sister's post by saying they used their (the parent's) birth year, but were very quick to argue how they are very strict, closely monitoring everything the child views, etc.  This is where the big alarm bells and whistles shout, "You are missing the point!"

What's the harm, really?  Okay, let's apply these principles to the everyday life of a child under the age of 13.

The creation of an account for an underage child violates the Facebook Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.  In layman's terms..."breaking the rules."  Is it okay to teach your kids they do not have to follow the rules?  That they are the exception? I wonder how their teachers, coaches, dance instructors feel about kids who just don't know how to follow the rules...quite possibly your kids?

You might be thinking, Well, all of their little friends from school have accounts and I don't want my kid to be left out. Sounds like peer pressure to me.  When all of their little friends from school experiment with alcohol, drugs, and sex would you mind if your kid was left out?

The most obvious reason for not setting up these accounts...it is lying when you do not use the child's real age.  Yes, you are condoning lying.  That is not something to be taken lightly.  There is no such thing as a little, white lie, stretching or bending the truth.  A lie is a lie.  It also makes me wonder...Have you ever punished your child for lying to you?  Where, then, do you draw the line?

Now let's take this matter to your child who has now become an adult in the real world. 

The workforce:
--Does it really matter if I just say I completed college even though I was actually shy a few credits?

--Everyone else "borrows" from the petty cash drawer.

--I'll just get my co-worker to clock me out at 5:00.  I really need to leave a little early today.

In marriage:
--She doesn't have to know I stopped by the bar on the way home.  I'll just tell her I had to work a little later today.  What's the harm in that?

--What he doesn't know, won't hurt him.  All my girlfriends have affairs.  It's just for fun.

--I just won't tell him I spent the money on a new dress.  I'll figure out another way to pay the bill.

And so it goes on...a world full of liars.  Now, let's look at this matter as God sees it:

--Proverbs 6:16-19 These six things the LORD hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.

--John 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.

--1 Timothy 1:9-11 knowing this: that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine, according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God...

--Revelation 8:21 But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

As Christians, we have become so desensitized to sin.  Sin is sin...and lying is sinful.  In fact, God categorizes liars with murderers, sexual predators, and kidnappers.  I also find interesting in 1 Timothy the phrase, "but for the the lawless and insubordinate," AKA the rule breakers.  These people, He also groups with the unholy and profane. 

So, what is the big deal, anyway?

I have found that the whole "do as I say not as I do" theory is a farce.  Kids will absolutely do what they see, not just what they hear, and certainly not just what you say.  One of my very favorite quotes you will find posted on this site is written on my marker board hanging above my desk.  It reads, "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."  As parents, we are accountable for our children until they are independent adults.  Everything we do, like it or not, influences the kind of people they will become.  We can teach them to be people of integrity or we can teach them to "cheat" the system--lawless and insubordinate.  We can teach them right from wrong or we can teach them to only see the gray areas--liars, unholy and profane.

And that, to me, is a very big deal.

Bath Time

Today is picture day, Easter pics no less.  In preparation for our afternoon shoot, I coerced the girls into an earlier bath time.  First, I washed my older daughter's hair before allowing the younger to join her in the bath tub largely due to the size of the actual tub.  When I put the baby, who is almost 3 years old, into the water, she immediately without warning fell back into my arms.  She didn't pause.  She didn't proceed with caution.  She let herself lie back into a tub of water with no fear of the depth of the water, the temperature, of whether or not I would be there to catch her.  My baby girl fell carelessly back into my arms because she knew I would be there to catch her...that I would not by any means under any circumstance let her go under.  Her body language portrayed only calm and trust.  No panic, no fear, no question.

Hhmm...I thought.  Why are we not that way with the Lord?  He is more consistent than I.  He is more reliable, more trustworthy.  He certainly has more knowledge, more ability, more strength. 

Jeremiah said, "blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."  When you trust, you don't meddle in matters that only God can settle.  When you trust, you don't try to fix what you believe to be broken in your life or even the life of someone else.  It is the knowledge that God's got it and He will not let you go under.  He will not let you sink.  For it is when you truly trust, that you are at rest, bathed in peace and that, my friend, is synonymous with blessed!

Psalm 143:8 "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."

Faith of a Child

As I'm sitting here at my computer, I'm listening to my children sing.  They are supposed to be sleeping...  Of course, I'll have to go quiet them momentarily, but right now my heart is lightened by the sweet little melodies coming from behind their bedroom door.  It's amazing to me at the early ages of 2 and 4, they can actually carry a tune and certainly more skillfully than their 30-something mother.   One of my favorite scriptures, Psalm 8:2 "Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger."

My mind drifts to the story of Jesus being surrounded by children while teaching the crowd.  Parents brought their babies just so they could be touched by the Master.  If only we were so diligent to bring our children before Him.  Schools wouldn't be so dangerous, bad attitudes and blatant disrespect wouldn't be rampant, teens wouldn't be serving life terms in prison or having babies, and so on and so forth...

I try to imagine being one of those mothers whose babe Christ, in the flesh, touched.  Don't you imagine those children grew up with proud stories of such a momentous occasion?  Or maybe, they grew up so very humbled that He, God's Son, tousled their curly hair or to kissed their sweet, round cheeks!  To be touched by Jesus...

We, too, can pass on that very story.  My mother can tell you when each of her three children had their first "touch" by Jesus.  Each of us at different ages, different stages, had our own unique experience.  My mom still tears up when we as adults are operating in His service be it through singing, or testimony, or words of edification to others.  I, too, can relate.  My heart swells when I listen to my kids quote scriptures or say their prayers.  It is the innocence and the humility that grabs me.

It is the innocent trust that grabs Him.  Children love and trust instinctively and unconditionally.  It is only through negative experiences and/or trauma that kids learn to distrust.  We even teach them distrust for their protection from strangers with evil intent.  Luke 18:17 reports Jesus as saying, "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.”  We must have that childlike faith to not only believe in God, whom we have not seen, but also to trust Him instinctively and unconditionally, to follow Him blindly.  When we can do that, only then, can we enter the kingdom of God.  It is my belief that not only refers to the Kingdom we speak of entering after death, but also His Kingdom right here on earth.  "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done in this earth."   This earth, this flesh.  I can enter His Kingdom here as I abide in Him and He abides in me.  Thus, His Kingdom comes and His will is done in me.  I can rule and reign in heavenly places right here, right now.  Victory in this life.  If, I believe...

Mark 9:24 "...Lord, I believe! [Constantly] help my weakness of faith!"

Get the Word In

From the time my older daughter was old enough to sit and listen to a story, I have read her Bible stories.  Then, of course, the younger daughter participated when she was awake!  When we moved to our own place, the Lord impressed upon me to start teaching them scripture.  At  3 years old, Carlisle could recite 15 verses.  Amazing!  If we are not careful, we will underestimate our children.  At such an early age, they are sponges.  We must be careful what we are exposing them to whether we believe they are old enough to remember or not.

As you know by now, my husband, their father, and I have been separated for well over 2 years now.  With the new year, the decision to divorce has become final.  A chance for us both to start fresh and begin again, free.  So, the rigmarole of that process has also begun.  The part I dreaded most happened this weekend.  Visitation.  He lives in Atlanta which is 3 1/2 hours from where we live.  Ugh is an understatement.

On the way, and of course the days leading up to the drop-off time, I prayed.  And prayed and prayed.  The Lord allowed everything to fall into place so I knew that they would be okay.  For I know, He loves my children even more than I am humanly capable of loving them.  Luke 8:16 tells us, "But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."  He sure loves children! :)  So, the trip up was peaceful other than the dilemma of who gets to hold the Fairy Barbie and who has to settle for the lesser Snow White doll. 

When we pulled in at the local Burger King at the half-way point, Reesey looked at her older sister and said:  "Carlisle, I'm scared.  Hold my hand."  Carlisle responded with, "I'll hold your hand.  God does not give me fear."  (2 Timothy 1:7)  I had to fight back the tears...God let me see that He is inside and He will be with them even if they are 3 1/2 hours away from me.  Can't He take even better care of them than I can?  I'm mere mortal, but He IS the God of the Universe.  He IS Jehovah!  He IS!

As I pondered the exchange between my sweet angels, my mind went back to a time when I was in complete hell and disarray.  My husband and I were heavy drinkers, alcoholics is the more appropriate term.  One night, I was lying on the floor annihilated.  The night had gotten out of control ending with a fight that became physical.  My husband called my mother because he didn't know what to do with me at this point.  The demons in me could not be quieted.  This often happened when I crossed a certain line.  There was so much rage inside. 

Anyway, he put the phone to my ear and she began to pray.  I remember she began quoting scripture.  The awesome part is that I, in oblivion, an unconscious state almost, began to quote the scripture with her.  My flesh was completely out, but my spirit man cried out because the Word was in there.  Deep down under all the garbage, all the things I was taught growing up came forth when I was unable to call it forth myself.

It is oh so important to teach our kids the ways of the Lord.  This is the only gift we can give them that is everlasting.  We do not know what's ahead for out children so it is imperative, it is our responsibility as parents, to give them the tools they need to survive this life on earth.  They must know God or they will not be able to withstand the wiles of the enemy.  1 Peter 5:8 tells us to "stay alert and pay attention.  There's an enemy out there."  I do not want my children to become his prey.  I will not stand by and let them be swept away.  They must be rooted and grounded in Him or they will have no chance in this wicked, wicked world.  It is never too early to start...

Psalm 8:2 "Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger."

Get Outside

Every year, the daycare my children attend closes the week after Christmas.  This year,  I started a new job which allowed me to take this week as vacation.  As you can imagine, the time off has been....well, it hasn't been time off.  However, I do fully intend to do it again next year. 

Truthfully, I am tired.  The kids rarely ever sleep a full night.  I could count on one hand the nights both kids have slept the entire night.  A good night for us is waking only 2-3 times.  We will not even discuss the difficult nights.  (Well, not in this post, anyway.)  As you are probably aware, kids have an internal clock that is precise and predictable.  My older daughter wakes and is ready for the day everyday by 7:00 a.m.--no later than 7:15 a.m.  No, never, not ever..  Yes, that includes Saturdays.  Yes, still 7:00 a.m. whether or not she goes to bed by 8:00 p.m., whether or not she naps during the day, whether or not Mommy slept 3 hours or 6 hours.  She has been this way since birth.  My younger daughter, however, is more like Mommy.  She would sleep later in the morning if her older sibling didn't feel the whole house should wake when she wakes.

The holidays came and went quickly.  Carlisle was, as you know from earlier posts, born on Christmas Day.  So, you can guess just how busy Christmas Day is around here.  We wake up for the customary opening of gifts Christmas morning.  We have lunch with my family and do the exchanging of gifts with them.  Then, Christmas is cleared away and it is birthday party time.  More food, more gifts.  Finally, it is birthday/Christmas with Daddy and the paternal grandmother.  Still more food, still more gifts.

Because Christmas fell on Saturday this year, all the hoopla was over when the full week of no school began.  The first couple of days were just too cold to do anything.  On Wednesday, Chick-fil-A dessert and a Walmart trip with my sister was a nice break, but by Thursday, we had to get outside.   Fortunately, the weather was an unusual high 60's kind of day.    Armed with a McDonald's Caramel Moca and two chocolate milks, I took the kids up to our local "square" and let them run under the strung Christmas lights and play in Santa's sleigh.  Both girls "performed" on the stage in the empty amphitheater.  It was so refreshing to hear them laugh and watch them run full speed without a care in the world.  They sang and danced and laughed and tumbled.  I sat back, watched, and as you might guess, took pictures.  It was truly a good afternoon.

So, why am I telling you all of this?  Our approach to the unusual, the out-of-routine things that come our way, can be the difference in a stir-crazy, walls closing in on you kind of day or a run with total abandonment, dance with all of your might kind of day.  When we begin to feel trapped by our circumstances, we must step "outside" of ourselves.  Otherwise, our frustration grows and more times than not that frustration is thrown onto the little darlings who stand closest to us.  Of course, their reaction is insecurity and it is manifested in any number of ways like tantrums, weepiness, clinging, etc. 

When we can take a mental break, clear our heads and get refocused, answers start to come.  A still, small voice can only be heard if the spirit is quiet.  Many times I have been in the middle of chaos, but I could hear the Lord so clearly because my  spirit was at rest, at peace.  My mind was clear even though my brain was in full gear.  Other times, it was His voice that quieted my spirit.

How do you "get outside" of your situation especially if you are in the middle of the supermarket with kids crying and rude checkout personnel?  Take two seconds, breathe this prayer:

"Lord, I trust You."

Say it as many times as you need to.  You can say it under your breath, you can say it in your mind, or if you choose, shout it from the rooftop!  I have found that all three are just as effective.  Sometimes, the rooftop shouting will not only quiet your spirit, but you'd be amazed at what it will do for the crying kids and the rude supermarket clerks!

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you."